Running: The Perfect Therapy.

This past Saturday, I received word that my father had passed away. This news was not a shock to me as I knew he was in poor health and that he didn't take care of himself. A lifetime of alcoholism and smoking working against him....

My father and I have been broken for a long time. Our history is rough. Through years of tears, anger and a lot of therapy I had learned to 'mourn' his loss some time ago. His real passing was not as hard on me as others; for those that don't understand that I am sorry.

Being an adult child of an alcoholic is hard - where did the alcohol end and he begin? Did he mean everything he said to me? Did he really not 'remember' all of it? As a child, I was afraid of him. He was quick with criticism and barely provided any praise. Alcoholism at it's finest - and no one really 'talked' about it like they do today....we all had to endure.....too bad really. As an adult, things weren't much better. The only defense I had is that I had learned more about the disease (alcoholism) and I had the strength to not tolerate the abuse.

Now, here I was on Sunday morning....ready for my weekly long run. My half-marathon plan called for eight (8) miles this past weekend. I mapped out my route and hit the ground running (pun intended).

As I began my run I was focused on warming up and getting my breathing in order - those are pretty important for miles 1 and 2 pretty much. After that believe it or not it does get easier (yeah right Heather)

This was my longest run since my surgery, so I knew I was going to be out for a while. As I started to think about things, it all kind of started to come through my head. Thinking about growing up with my family, the friends I made and lost along the way. Thought about my mom and my dad, thought about my dad and my brothers, thought about my grandparents. The time I had to process these thoughts was good - coming to terms with some of these things was not easy over the years, but being out on the road I realized how much at peace I already was with myself and that I did all that I could....sometimes letting go is the only answer.

I came out of this 8+ mile running feeling pretty good about myself - proving that every criticism he every laid upon me was wrong...proving that I can do anything I set my mind to.

.......I'd like to say I left it all out on the pavement, but I don't think I did. I need to keep some of it so I never forget where I came from.....as it is what made me who I am today.

All of this from a run. Running: the Perfect Therapy?


Love this post from my friend Andrew - have to share it.

" when your mind tells you that you don't have anything more in the tank....sit back and let your body tell your mind 'fuck you' and do 1o more"

Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 12, 2010 at 8:45 PM

    I LOVE this!! So glad that you were able to succeed in spite of being told otherwise. :) What a great testament to the healing power of running!

    ReplyDelete

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