Warning: Stressed out Mother Ahead; Proceed with Caution.
When I was twenty four, I lost my husband to colon cancer when I was five months pregnant with my daughter Abbey.
For years I had watched those around me in my community as well as in high school have babies (some younger than I). As I grew up and reached adulthood, I felt great pride in the fact that I had waited until I was married with a stable foundation before I had thoughts of starting a family.
Then he died. And I was ultimately left a single parent.
All of the planning and working toward this dream changed. I was no longer going to be able to take that nice little 'part time job to keep my mind busy' as we had planned. No, the reality was that I was going to be 100% responsible for raising this child....there would be no weekend visits, no 'every other' holiday arrangements, no one to take care when I was sick or to take a sick day when she was also sick. It was all on me.
And I did it. I did it better than most two parent families do it. I was the living breathing cross between Sex and the City and Nick Jr. I could pack a lunch most kids would trade anything for - her clothes were trendy yet reasonable. I created the perfect routine for us to live by....I even found time to fall in love again.
There were nights that I thought I would never get to sleep....fevers, bad dreams, night terrors, accidents....you know the list goes on and on. Little "prayers" to God to help me get some sleep (or will her to sleep so I could sleep). Little negotiations just for the sake of rest.
Now... looking back on all of it.....I often wonder how I made it through as I did.
But that was nothing.
Now she is a pre-teen.
...and I had no idea what I was in for.
Put your tray tables and seat in the upright position. This is gonna be rough.
For years I had watched those around me in my community as well as in high school have babies (some younger than I). As I grew up and reached adulthood, I felt great pride in the fact that I had waited until I was married with a stable foundation before I had thoughts of starting a family.
Then he died. And I was ultimately left a single parent.
All of the planning and working toward this dream changed. I was no longer going to be able to take that nice little 'part time job to keep my mind busy' as we had planned. No, the reality was that I was going to be 100% responsible for raising this child....there would be no weekend visits, no 'every other' holiday arrangements, no one to take care when I was sick or to take a sick day when she was also sick. It was all on me.
And I did it. I did it better than most two parent families do it. I was the living breathing cross between Sex and the City and Nick Jr. I could pack a lunch most kids would trade anything for - her clothes were trendy yet reasonable. I created the perfect routine for us to live by....I even found time to fall in love again.
There were nights that I thought I would never get to sleep....fevers, bad dreams, night terrors, accidents....you know the list goes on and on. Little "prayers" to God to help me get some sleep (or will her to sleep so I could sleep). Little negotiations just for the sake of rest.
Now... looking back on all of it.....I often wonder how I made it through as I did.
But that was nothing.
Now she is a pre-teen.
...and I had no idea what I was in for.
Put your tray tables and seat in the upright position. This is gonna be rough.
You make me want to apologoze to my own mother for my pre-teen years! :) Props on all you were able to do though, seriously. My 20-something co worker just lost her husband to a workplace accident about a month ago, and she is also 4 months pregnant with their first child. (And they just were married a year in March) I have thought often over the last weeks of how difficult things are going to be for her, but it's good to know that it CAN be done with enough resolve! And I have every confidence that you will handle all that lies ahead!
ReplyDelete